Feeling Carnivorous.

After a long two weeks of being sick as a dog during prep, which I realize only body builders will understand the true magnitude of, I have a rant for everyone. You have been warned. Enjoy. Or don't. 

You're reading my blog remember?

I have been busting my ass since May 1st to prepare for a show in September. Okay, I'm going to let that sink in really quick. It's mid July, so approximately 2 and a half months of two, sometimes three - even up to four depending on how you break it down - work outs a day.. Fasted cardio, CrossFit training, weight training, meal prepping for 6 meals a day, planning the above and eating around working a full time bar tending job, juggling family and friends and weight gain and loss, clients and being 23 - for 2 and a half months.. With the end goal still 2 months away. 

Holy shit balls. If that doesn't sound like attempting to juggle crocodiles and anacondas and a steaming hot turbo shot while doing ass blasters on a smith machine style difficult.. Pardon my lack of description previously.. Because that's the level of hard work going into this on my behalf. 

So obviously when I'm tired, let me sleep. When I'm hungry, I'm HANGRY - like give me half of a cow & enough spinach to kill a small horse - hangry. When I'm sore, I'm taking the god damn elevator you "go the extra mile" assholes. When I've done 2 hours of cardio and CrossFit and chest bis and abs without carbs, fuck you don't talk to me, I'm trying not to count down the seconds until my next meal. Oh and this gum I'm chewing that you're claiming is going to make my jaw too big? It's the only thing keeping me from launching you from here to China so make like Jenna Marbles and PIPE THE FUCK DOWN! Okay you get the picture I've been taking some shit from my less than supportive peers and fellow Floridians on general. 

Okay so now before I move onto rant part two; the above was me last night before my shift at my place of employment. Yeah yeah yeah, go ahead, gawk.. Laugh whatever. I get paid to flirt with your boyfriend. Boooom. 

Do I look overly masculine to you? With the exception of the fact that I've never been particularly well endowed in the titty section - I'd go out on a limb and say no. Do I look "huge"? Again, considering some of my coworkers and the size of their uniform and AHEM - ASSets - I'm going to tell you, I'm not. That being said, I understand that it's clear that I work out, it's obvious that I am not built like your average blond hooters girl. I'm totally cool with that. But I don't need every drunk mother fucker here on vacation telling me that I can "take a day or two off of P90x or whatever you're doing!"  Oohhh really? I'll lend it to you you wasted fat fuck, I'd suggest starting immediately after finishing your 20 breaded wings drenched in ranch dressing, curly fries you're dipping in cheese like a heart attack is on your bucket list for TOMORROW, and pitcher of beer (all to yourself by the way!). 

What I'm getting at here is; there are very few good ways that people, with KNOWLEDGE of the subject they wish to comment on, can do so. A friend of mine who hasn't seen me in a while made the following comment to me, which I deemed appropriate and STILL added "I hope this didn't offend you I think you look amazing I'm just adding my two cents." 

Friend: "Damn girl you look solid as hell!"

Me: "Thanks, that's the goal.."

Friend: "You know there will be people once you get to the level you're aiming for who want to tempt you with PEDs to take you that extra step, but you're genetically built to put on muscle, to get big.. So just be careful because there are a lot of side effects and I don't want you to start looking masculine and shit.."

Now my friend was two pitchers deep and his girlfriend was out of town and he has just given me the up down in my hoots uniform in which my lats look baller and quads are "solid" as hell. With the exception of the last sentence I didn't even think twice about his statement. I am not, nor will I ever be, on steroids and I sure as shit will stop making 

50 SHADES OF GAAIIINNNZZZ

if and when I start noticing myself losing my favorite feminine characteristics. But like Molly, my favorite Instagram badass bitch and bodybuilder (@mo_llly) says..

"Some guys don't like muscular women.. They are intimidated, but no reason to get butt hurt over it.." Just smile politely when they make comments on your photos or in person and reply "fuck her.."  And when they ask "fuck who?" Sweetly or in my case carnivorously respond with "YOUR MOM!"

It makes me feel better. 

Lesson of the day people.. Keep your mouth shut and opinions to yourself. Everyone has a different body type, goal in sight and means to reach them. Unless you are CT Fletcher, or Dana Lynn Bailey, my coach or @mo_llly you will be savagely ripped a new asshole. No fucks will be given because you don't give one about my journey other than to rain on my parade. 

Which segues into my next blog post. The only thing worse than someone telling you your hard work looks "manly" or that you're "doing something wrong" is that jealous bitch who tries to down play what you're working your ass off to do.. Oh there's a post coming for you too girl!